


Wake Up

by Humansunshine



Series: Luke Month 2019 [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Luke Month 2019, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 03:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18683062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humansunshine/pseuds/Humansunshine
Summary: Luke wakes up in the hospital after he's turned and comes to a world-shattering realisation.





	Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> Couple of trigger warnings on this one, it's pretty intense.
> 
> Medical equipment - Luke has an air pipe up his nose when he wakes up, and plucks it out. It's not graphically described.
> 
> Vomiting - Luke is physically sick when he realises what he's done, and describes the nauseous feeling
> 
> Emotional upheaval - Luke breaks down when he realises that everything he thought he knew about downworlders is wrong

Luke didn’t remember waking up. He found himself in a bed in a white room with a pipe up his nose, and the first thing he was aware of doing was reaching up to pull it out. 

“Don’t do that, that wouldn’t be smart.” A warm, brown hand encircled his wrist right in his line of sight, and after Luke had blinked a few times he saw that the hand was attached to a woman. She was dressed all in blue, and Luke put it together that he was in a mundane hospital. “You’ve been mauled. Lie still.” 

“How did I survive?” Luke croaked. The last thing he remembered was Jocelyn putting a seraph blade in his hand. 

“The wolves who turned you called me, and I called an ambulance.” 

Luke was confused. The nurse spoke as if she knew about the shadow world, but…

“Wait, turned me?” Luke demanded, raising his hands and finding that everything hurt. “I-I’m a…?” 

“Werewolf.” The nurse confirmed gently. “Yes. Your Circle friends-”

“Not my friends,” Luke could feel a burning in his ribs, and he put his hand there. He hissed in pain as his fingers came into contact with a bandage. 

“Careful. You were bitten there.”

Luke looked up at the nurse, confusion not helping the fog in his brain. “Are you a mundane?” 

The nurse laughed lightly. “Fuck no.” She flicked her fingers, and a haze of blue magic sparked in her hand. “Catarina Loss, warlock.”

“Lucian Greymark.”

“Oh, I know who you are.” Catarina told him, “you were Valentine’s parabatai.”

“If you know that, why did you save me?” Luke asked. None of this made any sense, and Luke wondered for a moment if this was actually Hell. A Circle member forced to live his life as a downworlder? Sounded like karma. 

“Because I’m a nurse, and I made an oath to help people no matter who they are. And Theo, the pack leader, wanted you to survive.” 

“For what?” Luke replied grimly.

Catarina sighed. “Look, I don’t know. You know a lot about the Circle. You could help bring them down once and for all. Look what Valentine did to you, Greymark. He locked you up with a pack of wolves and left you for dead. Don’t you want revenge?” 

Luke honestly never wanted to see Valentine again. “There’s no point in trying to stand against him, he’s running around hopped up on demon blood. I’m talking pure demon blood. No-one can touch him.”

“The High Warlock tells me that Jocelyn Fairchild isn’t doing too badly.” Catarina said, fixing him with a level stare. “You helped make this mess, Lucian, you have to help us clean it up.” 

“Jocelyn’s still alive?” Luke struggled to sit up. 

“Alive and kicking,” Catarina confirmed. “Last we heard she’d managed to hide the mortal cup.”

“I have to go to her,” Luke insisted, “where is she?” 

Catarina shrugged. “No-one knows. Magnus, the High Warlock, said that’s the way it has to be.” She looked Luke up and down. “You seem to care a lot about her.”

“She’s all I have left.”

“Is the kid yours?” Catarina asked, her eyes narrowing. 

“Jonathan?” Luke scoffed, “uh, no.”

Catarina bit the inside of her cheek. “I meant the baby. The baby that Jocelyn’s pregnant with.” 

Luke plucked the tube from his nose, hissing at the sting of it. “I have to go to her.”

“So you are the father?” 

“No!” Luke wrinkled his nose. “It’s not like that. We’re not… It’s not… Look, can I go?” 

“If you want to risk bleeding out, sure.” Catarina answered.

“Don’t werewolves have enhanced healing?” Luke gritted out, getting to his feet.

Catarina nodded, “after the first full moon, sure. But that’s not for another few days.” 

Luke groaned. “Alright, alright. How do I find Jocelyn?” 

“I’d say your best bet is getting back into that bed and letting me go and call Magnus. He’s the only one who’s in touch with Jocelyn, he can at least pass on the message that you’re alive.” Catarina offered. Luke knew that if he tried to walk he’d collapse, his vision swimming, so with a sigh he resigned himself to waiting, letting his butt fall back onto the hospital bed. “Good choice.” 

When she left the room, Luke tried not to think about his situation. Instead, he turned his mind to Jocelyn, trying to think where she’d go. He wracked his brains, flicking through memories, but he kept returning to the last time he’d seen her. Her face tear-streaked but fierce, ordering him to live, begging him to come find her. 

He was a wolf now. 

The fact was so incomprehensible to him that he could barely believe it. He’d been bitten and would turn, but as far as he could tell… Nothing had changed. His mind was still just as sound as it always had been, he didn’t feel any urge to do anything other than go and find Jocelyn. Demonic impurity had permeated his body, changed it… And yet… He was still Luke. He was still the same person.

Demon blood hadn’t taken away his personhood, or heart.

Luke felt nauseous. He swallowed hard and fast, trying to keep the acid burning up his windpipe at bay. This whole time, the Circle had been killing people. Not demons, not animals addled with demon blood, but people.

Luke had killed people, people that had just as much heart, personality and complexity as he did.

Catarina entered the room just in time to see Luke scramble across the room and vomit in the sink. Assuming that it was a side effect of his injuries, she grabbed her stethoscope, but Luke held out his hand to stop her. 

“Valentine… He… We…” He felt his face crumple. “What have we done?” 

“Whoa, whoa,” Catarina rushed forward when Luke sank down to the floor, covering his face as the sobs overwhelmed him. She didn’t say anything more, and she didn’t touch him.

Luke couldn’t blame her. He’d spent the last few years tormenting the downworld, helping Valentine slaughter packs and clans and warlock families. If he were her, he’d have let himself die. 

“Lucian, listen to me,” Catarina said, her voice even. “You have done terrible things. Things that you can never take back.” She paused, sitting down next to him on the floor. “But you have a chance to put a stop to all this. You are Valentine’s parabatai. You can help us stop him. You can help us protect the downworld.” 

“How…” Luke tried to get a hold of himself, rubbing his eyes hard, “how can you trust me?” 

Catarina met his eyes. “Because you’re one of us now.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic marks the end of #LukeMonth2019, thanks to all who prompted!!


End file.
